


Shattered

by jasmineisland



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:01:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1255540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmineisland/pseuds/jasmineisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the 2013 Reverse Bang over on LJ <br/>The Wall of Sam fell, and Sam survived. But his grasp of reality doesn’t take much to shatter. A/U in the sense that the Wall fell on its own and Cas wasn’t working with Crowley. The rape/non con Sam/Lucifer pairing is flashbacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered

**Art Title:** Shattered  
 **Prompt Number:** SPN1015  
 **Artist:** M14MOUSE  
 **Fic Title:** Bring Me Back To You  
 **Author:** jasmineisland  
 **Fandom/Genre:** SPN Drama/Angst  
 **Pairing(s):** None  
 **Rating:** R for violent imagery  
 **Word Count:** 3600  
 **Warnings:** torture, non-con  
 **Summary:** The Wall of Sam fell, and Sam survived. But his grasp of reality doesn’t take much to shatter. A/U in the sense that the Wall fell on its own and Cas wasn’t working with Crowley.

 **Art Link(s):** [LJ](http://m14mouse.livejournal.com/86989.html)  
 **Fic Link(s):** [LJ](http://jasmineisland.livejournal.com/25745.html)

This artwork just grabbed me from the get go. I couldn't get it out of my head once I saw it. Make sure you go send [](http://m14mouse.livejournal.com/profile)[**m14mouse**](http://m14mouse.livejournal.com/) some love for it.

Bring Me Back To You

 

 

 

It’s easy to fall into a false sense of security. Even after the Wall of Sam fell, the younger Winchester seemed to be surviving. Cas had finally decided that all of his instincts regarding putting Sam’s soul back had seriously underestimated the strength of the Winchesters’ bond to get through the fallout. Dean was so glad to have his little brother back that he was actually happy, which should have been the big neon signal that everything was about to fall apart.  
One second. One second was all it took to change everything. A hunt that was actually a setup. An angel that had it in for Team Free Will and was pissed that Michael was in the cage and Sam was walking the Earth. The room had erupted in white light and Dean was fairly convinced they were about to be vaporized. But as soon as it had started, it had ended in an even brighter flash as Cas drove his blade home. Before the angel could even hit the ground, Dean turned to his brother. And for a moment, stopped breathing.  
“Sam?” He recognized the look on his brother’s face. It was the look Sam got whenever Lucifer was hitting too close to home in his mind. “Sammy?” Instinct told Dean this wasn’t like the other times Sam had gotten a little lost, as he liked to put it, even though that hadn’t happened in a long time.  
The second his hand touched the taller man, there was no doubt this was worse.  
Screaming, Sam backed away from his brother until he hit the wall. With his back to the wall, he slid down until he was curled up as tightly as he could pull his long limbs.  
“What happened?” Cas’s voice didn’t carry over the screams, but Dean knew what he was saying.  
The screaming got louder and turned to sobs. Turning to the angel, Dean gestured to his brother. “Can you do something?”  
Nodding, Cas touched his fingers to the younger Winchester’s head and it all stopped

 

 

Sam was aware of two things: Darkness, then light so blinding it felt like his eyes were burning out of his head. Again. He wondered what it would be this time. The shriek of archangels’ true voices echoed in his head, overlapping as Michael and Lucifer berated him. Searing pain coursed through his head as he felt the oncoming burst of his ear drums. They liked him deaf sometimes.  
Suddenly it stopped. So not one of those days. The younger Winchester almost sighed. It wasn’t a good sign; it just meant there was something else planned for him this go-round. That was when he heard it. Over the low roar he could make out what sounded like his brother’s voice. Against his will, he renewed his struggles. This was the worst. Nothing the archangels did to him was ever good, but this? Using the form of his brother? This was what broke him the fastest every time.

Sam had woken up in the same condition he’d been in when Cas put him under. As soon as his eyes had opened, he’d rolled off the bed and into the wall, the sound of his body hitting the wall making Dean wince.  
“Sammy.” Keeping his voice low, Dean approached the younger man slowly. As soon as he was close enough, he gently reached out and touched his brother’s shoulder. The reaction was immediate. Screaming, Sam pulled away and shook his head.  Running his hand over his face, Dean turned and glanced over his shoulder at the perplexed angel behind him. “Any idea what the fuck happened?”  
Cas approached them. “I can’t tell you without looking into his-“  
“NO!” Reaching out, he gripped the angel’s arm before he could make contact. “Not unless you’re sure you can fix him.”  
“I cannot be sure.” The admission was a hard one for Cas, and it showed.  
“Then you might just cause more damage.” The silence was enough of an answer. Sighing, Dean leaned against the bed and watched his little brother suffer.

He’d believed. He’d really believed. For what had seemed like almost a year, he’d believed he’d been out of the cage. Fighting alongside his brother. The thought that it really had all been an illusion was too much for Sam. But here he was, back in the cage, with one of them wearing his brother’s face about to tear into him again. He remembered his hallucination- or was it- was it really Lucifer just toying with him? He’d said something about making Sam believe he had something to lose, or not being able to threaten him when he had nothing to lose. Either way, it was over. Here he was. Here they were. Terrified, Sam forced himself to open his eyes and look around. A motel room. Dean sitting near him, looking lost and scared. Behind him, Cas stood silently.  
Against his will, he relaxed. He was with his brother and Cas. Maybe it was all a dream- he’d dreamed about the cage a lot. Dean smiled at him. But it was not the smile he’d known his entire life. This smile was more malice than he’d ever seen on his real brother.  “Hey, little brother. Wanna play?”  
Something inside Sam snapped. It wasn’t real. None of it- he realized it had never been real. He was in the cage, had always been in the cage, and would always be in the cage.  
Hands reached out and gripped his shoulders, forcing him to the ground. It was no surprise when the first slice down his back started, and he could feel the skin parting down to his bones. Closing his eyes, Sam tried to force himself to see the true form of the one torturing him. It was NOT Dean. The feel of his skin being peeled back in long strips took his breath and he tried to breathe through the agony. But the angel was just getting started. One by one, his ribs snapped under heavy fists that pounded into his back, slipping in the blood and sinew the blades had exposed. It was too much, but he knew from experience he would never pass out. The vision of the motel room might have seemed real, but the feel of the blades now ripping into his chest and stomach as if coming up from the floor was enough to convince Sam that the entire scene was a lie. His arms were pulled straight out and held down, leaving him unable to move. Chains appeared, holding him down at various points on his body. Where there were already slices and cuts, they dug into the open flesh, pulling it back from the bones. On the few places that had been unmarked, they dug in and created trenches in his flesh.

Sam literally collapsed to the floor, whimpering in a way that Dean would have done anything to have never heard from his brother. Still unsure what to do, the older Winchester turned to Cas. “If you have any suggestions,” His voice cracked with emotion he couldn’t control. “Now would be good.”  
“All you can do is be here.” The angel kept his voice low. “I have done all I can to help him. The rest is up to him. Sam has always found his way back to you. I have no doubt he will again now.”  
“Glad you don’t have doubts.”  
That was when the screaming started again. The large body was taut, stretched along the wall as if it would offer him protection, but it heaved with the force of breath required to produce those sounds. These Dean recognized. He used to enjoy dragging those sounds out of souls presented to him under Alistair’s instruction. He needed no help imagining what his brother was remembering, actually reliving, in his mind.

Cold fingers traced Sam’s shoulders before gripping his hair to yank his head back so hard he thought he felt his neck snap. “Take a long look, Sammy.” It was Dean’s voice, but not, and Sam clung to that desperately. “You’re here for good. Should’a been here from the start. Guess Dad wasn’t such a great hunter after all, huh." Hot breath hit his ear and the next words were growled against his head. “Most evil thing to ever walk the earth and he let you live. Had suspicions, but didn’t look hard enough for the proof. Didn’t want to know how wrong his son was.”  
Tears came as Dean- NOT Dean- dug out his worst fears from the darkest part of his heart and exposed them for what they were. The truth.  
But it wasn’t over. It had just begun for Sam and he knew it. It all happened so quickly his mind didn’t have a chance to realize what was happening until the pain overtook him so intensely he couldn’t breathe. The tall man was yanked to his knees like he was small child, his legs pushed so far apart both of his hips dislocated with loud pops that sent jolts through him. When NOT Dean shoved his way inside, he tried desperately to pull away. But he knew he had no hope of escaping.  
The only thing in Sam’s mind was pain. This wasn’t the first time, or even the five hundredth, but each and every time Sam tried to escape. He couldn’t help himself. Finally his breath returned, leaving him again in a scream that he knew no one who cared would hear.

When Sam screamed, Dean reacted. It was so ingrained in him to take care of Sammy he couldn’t have stopped himself if he’d wanted to.  Without thinking, he moved closer and pulled his brother into his arms. The younger Winchester was still screaming, and struggled so weakly against him Dean knew his brother really had no hope of escaping. Whatever was going on in Sam’s mind, it was what had broken him. He held Sammy against him, whispering quietly in his ear. “Come on, Sammy. You’re not there.” Even though there was no response, he couldn’t give up. Tightening his arms around his brother, he continued to beg his brother to come back to him.  
Finally Sam’s body relaxed and he began to murmur softly.  
Still standing quietly to the side, Cas watched the Winchesters silently. He knew the angel had triggered a flashback, but Sam’s mind was so damaged, he really had no idea how to bring him out. Slowly, he moved to them and kneeled beside Dean.  
“Ol g-chis-ge nia-cod.”  
Hesitating, Sam burrowed closer to his brother. At Dean’s unspoken question, the angel turned back to Sam. “He is speaking Enochian. I told him he is safe.”  
Enochian. The language of angels. More to the point, the language of the two pissed off archangels that had tortured his brother for over a century. Dean’s mind went to horrible places he was sure his brother had been, and he cradled the larger body back against his chest tighter and continued to whisper to him that he was safe and they were together.

“Ol g-chis-ge nia-cod.”  
It was the sound of Cas’s voice and the words he spoke that began to break through to Sam. Not only did he recognize the angel as a voice that had never been there in the cage, but the words. Those words had never been said to him by either archangel. Not in Enochian. Only when they took Dean’s form did they try to convince him he had been saved, and then they only spoke English. Never Enochian. And they’d never tried to convince him he was safe.  
He became aware that Dean’s voice was still speaking to him in his ear, and, for a brief moment he allowed himself to hope. Softly, he asked if his brother was real.  
Once again, it was Cas’s voice that answered him in Enochian. For a brief moment he was terrified. He wanted to believe so desperately, but he knew from experience it would hurt that much more when it turned out to not be true. Trying to sit up, he realized he was being held. But it wasn’t chains or straps, or- thank God, or whoever passed for him these days- not hooks. What he felt was gentle, not restraining him as much as holding him as if to protect him.  
Slowly, still not trusting anything to be real, Sam reached up and gripped his brother’s arm where it was across his chest.  
For a brief second, the older Winchester held his breath, waiting to see what Sammy was going to do. But he realized that when he stopped speaking his brother hesitated. “I’m right here, Sammy. Come on. I got ya, little brother. Just come back, okay?”  
“Dean.”  
The word was whispered, barely even that whole syllable, but it was all Dean needed to know his brother was coming back to him. “That’s right. It’s me. Real deal, Sammy. Come on. Can you open your eyes for me?”  
Tear filled hazel eyes opened and he looked around the room before turning to see Dean staring at him.  
“That’s it. You back?” A long arm wrapped around his neck and his little brother literally buried his face in the crook of his neck. When he realized Sammy was crying quietly, he pulled him tighter against his body, rubbing circles into the broad muscular back. “S’okay, you’re here. You’re out of that cage and  you’re never going back. You hear me, Sammy? You’re out.”  
Shaking, Sam just held on tighter.  
After a few minutes, Dean loosened his hold. “Can we get up? Think you can make it back up on the bed, Sammy?”  
Nodding, Sam tried to move, but he’d thrown himself into a wall and every muscle had stretched for too long.  
“I can help.” Cas’s voice startled both men, but Dean nodded. Gently, Cas reached down under Sam’s back and helped Dean move him to the bed. The younger hunter’s body trembled, but he allowed Dean and Cas to move him. Before they could move away, long arms reached out and gripped both of them, as if letting go of them would mean they disappeared.  
Understanding, Dean moved onto the bed beside his brother and held his arm. “Not goin’ anywhere, kiddo. Right here.” He could tell from the way hazel eyes tracked around the room that Sam still wasn’t sure. He shifted up against the headboard and pulled the kid’s back against his chest. “We’re real, Sammy. We’re real and you’re out and you’re never going back. I promise, Sam. Those bastards will never get a hold of you again. You gotta believe me, Sammy.”  
Dean’s voice in his ear was like a lifeline to Sam, and he gripped the arm around his chest with one hand. The other was still holding on to the trench coat, dragging the angel to sit on the bed with them.  
“Nia-cod?”  
The phrase was mumbled, but Cas nodded. “Nia-cod.”  
Dean had no idea what had been said, but it seemed to work. The sweat-slicked hair against his shirt moved when Sam nodded and settled closer to him.  For a while the three of them stayed where they were, the older Winchester and the angel watching the younger one. Finally Sam’s body relaxed and his breathing evened out. Taking that as a good sign, Dean shifted until he could lay his brother out flat and stood. “Christ.” Drained physically and emotionally, Dean grabbed a beer and sat on a chair he shoved next to the bed. “What’s up with the angel-speak?”  
“I would imagine that was all Sam heard in the cage. He keeps questioning if he is really here and if he is safe.”  
“Looks like he believes you.” For a brief moment he was put out that Sam turned to Cas after all his reassurances, but the most important thing was that his brother finally relaxed.  
The angel watched Sam sleep for a few minutes. Making a decision, he sat down on the opposite bed. It was a safe guess that Dean would not be using it for a while.

Fire. Sam saw nothing but fire all around him, consuming everything. The heat was literally melting the skin from his body, and the pain left him shaking. Lifting his hand, he saw nothing but charred bone moving as he clenched his fist. All he could hear was the crackling of the flame as it burned higher from his body. The stench of what he knew was his own flesh permeated everything, burning its way into his nostrils. His throat should have closed before now, but it never did. They liked to hear him scream.  
The scream woke Dean from the light sleep he’d fallen into and he jumped to his feet. Once again, his brother was thrashing around screaming at another memory. Knowing it worked before, he moved to the bed and struggled to pull the larger man up and against his chest. At first Sam fought him, but eventually he got his arms around his little brother and held on. A litany of phrases passed through his lips, praying to himself that they would get through to the hallucinating man.  
When Sam finally opened his eyes, Cas stood by waiting to see if Sam would speak in English or Enochian. For a long time he said nothing. Staring at the wall as if it didn’t exist and lying quietly in his brother’s arms, the younger Winchester seemed to be aware of where he was.  
The fact that he wasn’t fighting, screaming, or speaking in Enochian gave him hope, so Dean continued to assure Sammy that he was there and he was safe. Finally a large hand reached up and took his gently.  
“You with us?”  
Nodding slowly, Sam took a deep breath. “Not Enochian.”  
“No.”  
 “I thought I forgot. English.” He turned his head so he could look at his older brother. “They….. used you.”  
There was no need to ask Sam what that meant. It was a familiar trick from hell to use the form of someone you loved and trusted to torture you, and the older Winchester knew it well. He tried to hide how much it hurt to hear his form had been used to torture Sam, but he didn’t have to. Sam knew.  
“At first they spoke English as you, but they would slip into Enochian. It was how I knew, but after a while…..” His voice trailed off and he didn’t have to finish that thought. "I think it all began to sound the same after eighty or so years."  
“Figured.” With a gentle touch, Dean pushed the hair back off of his brother’s forehead. He had vivid memories about how everything blended into nothing but pain in the hell. “Better?”  
Sam nodded again and sighed. “Sorry.”  
“S’alright, Sammy. Just freaks me out when you….” Dean’s voice choked off with emotion.  
“I’m okay, Dean. I mean, it was really bad earlier. That angel…” Now the younger man’s voice trailed off. “I mean….. it just…..” He sighed. “It was so fucking real. That I wasn’t here.”  
“I know. But you’re here now.”  
“Yeah.” Shifting, Sam realized Cas was sitting across from him, staring at him with a blank look on his face. “Cas?”  
“I am glad you know you are here.”  
“It was you, wasn’t it?” Sam sat up to face the angel, but he didn’t let go of his brother’s hand. “Nia-cod.”  
“Yes. I hoped you would understand. And believe.”  
“Thank you.” Still unable to make himself let go of his brother, Sam used his free hand to push the hair back off his face. “I can’t…. I can’t imagine what I put the two of you through.”  
“Stop.” Tugging him back gently, Dean wrapped Sam in his arms again. “You’re okay. You know who you are, where you are, and who we are. That’s all that matters.”  
With a deep sigh that turned into a yawn, Sam relaxed against him. “Tired.”  
“Think you can get some more sleep?”  
He hesitated. “Not sure. The dreams….” His voice trailed off and cracked a bit.  
“No more dreams tonight.” Dean deliberately made it sound like an order. “Come here.” He laid down and wrapped his arm around Sam.  
With a tired smile, the younger brother relaxed against the man behind him. It had been years since they’d cuddled like this, and he knew, even with what had happened tonight, if he said one word about it his brother would be up and away from him like a shot. So he decided to be quiet and enjoy it.  
Any other night the sight of the angel sitting quietly in the other bed watching them would be creepy and completely awkward. Tonight? Sam found it comforting. With his big brother and an angel watching over him, he was certain that he was not going to have another bad dream that night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
